briggie.tom

mature douchebag jam, double the flavour....

2010-02-02T12:15:00.001-08:00

Outside a café I sat near a set of identical twins, women in their mid
sixties, dressed alike and gearing themselves up for a duet of
synchronized complaining that, had it been a piece of music, might have
been eligible for some sort of prize.
Twin 1 (surveying the mild autumn sky) “This is my kind of weather…”
Twin 2 (staring moodily at the waiting staff) “What’s wrong with these
people?”
Twin 1 “Did you ask for more jam?”
Twin 2 “Yes but she didn’t understand me.”
I looked at their table. They were eating scones and had what seemed to
me to be an adequate amount of jam to be going on with.
Twin 1 (stopping a waitress) “We need more jam!”
The waitress smiled and walked inside.
Twin 2 “She won’t speak English. It’s the same in Waitrose.”
Another waitress appeared and gave them more jam.
Twin 1 (looking angrily at the tiny jars) “These have the lids on!”
Twin 2 “The others had the lids off!”
Twin 1 “It’s the inconsistency…”
She stopped a waitress and held out a jar.
Twin 2 “Can you open this?”
Twin 1 “It’s no good. They can’t understand you.”
The waitress took the jam and opened it.
Twin 2 “This is different jam altogether.”
Twin 1 “It’s the wrong jam!”
They now had no scones and a surplus of jam. A problem they
surmounted by spooning it directly into the mouths while looking beadily
about for trouble, like human wasps.

its raining jonny...

2010-01-31T20:23:00.000-08:00

still not sure, raining jonny's on a brothel type bar, tina all wrapped up? she is "simply the best"...

tina all wrapped up? very very rough

2010-01-26T19:42:00.000-08:00

The ethics of professional nudity are one of the great default arguments
that daytime television, talk radio, columnists and occasionally frontline
politics will elect to shine their dubious lights upon when there’s nothing
else to talk about. It came as no big surprise then to find myself adjacent
to two drinkers discussing the art of what Tina Turner called “Private
Dancing,” albeit from a somewhat subjective point of view.
Man 1 “She made eight hundred quid in her first week.”
Man 2 “Christ, so that’s her now then. No going back…how she’s getting
on?”
Man 1 “Well she does get on with things-I admire that about her. She
says the blokes are just-well you can imagine…”
Man 2 “What?”
Man 1 “Well, you know. They’ll show her a picture of a Ferrari on their
iPhone and say, ‘That’s my car, I can take you away from all this, you’re
too good for it.’ But, there they are…”
Man 2 “What does she say to all that?”
Man 1 “You have to play up to it. They told her, you can’t crack on that
you’re clever. You have to act the part. You can read books if it’s quiet but
you have to wrap up them up inside a copy of Heat or something.”
Man 2 “Yeah, I can see that.”
Man 1 “She had one lot of blokes come in that she said were alright. They
said it was the first time they’d been and she told them it was her first
night-which was true. They said they’d give her all the money she had,
which was plenty, if, when she got on the stage, half way through the
routine she started doing robotics.”
Man 2 (laughing) “Did she do it?”
Man 1 (laughing too) “No, she bottled it.”
Man 2 “I’d pay good money to see that.”
Man 1 “I’ll let her know.”

magic ear tree train driver

2010-01-21T06:42:00.000-08:00

I was on a train, sat in front of a group of men who spent most of the
journey talking about cars. As this is a subject about which I know
little I didn’t pay too much attention but I couldn’t help but tune in
when one of them made an unusual comparison.
Man 1 (dismayed) “The whole car smelled like trees.”
Man 2 (sombre-as though he had suffered the same nightmare at some
point) “Really…”
Man 1 “Aye, someone had smashed the rear window and the damp had
gotten in. It smelled like my Audi.”
Man 2 “The one you got off your cousin?”
Man 1 (with bitterness) “Yeah, that one.”
Man 2 “How is he?”
Man 1 “Doing well for him self. You have to watch him with money
though. That Audi wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. And he’s pulled
some sort of stunt with his mortgage, God knows how, but he’s ended up
with a four-bedroom place.”
Man 2 “Whereabouts?”
Man 1 “Just around the corner from where he was. It’s still dodgy
though. For all his rooms he’s no garage. Someone had the wheels off
his car, they had the radio.”
Man 2 “What did he do?”
Man 1 “Set it on fire for the insurance. He’s got the new one now.”
Man 2 “What’s it like?”
Man 1 “Pretty smart, but it’s got to him though, the money. I went round
to look at the car and when I got to the house he asked me to take my
shoes off.”
Silence followed, heavy with judgment, as though such protocols were
sub human, and best not dignified with more discussion.
Michael Holden

one pint of hair please

2010-01-17T19:55:00.000-08:00

hairy pint

2010-01-13T06:16:00.000-08:00

I could see the man at the next table was having a hard time from the
way he held his drinks-for dear life, it seemed. He stared into the middle
distance with an air of furious sorrow and swallowed beer in great
mouthfuls, around a third of a pint each time. At the end of his second
something like relief came to his face and then he was joined by a friend
who bought another drink to his table.
Man 1 (upbeat) “How are we.”
Man 2 (morose) “In fucking bits.”
Man 1 “You haven't slept at all?”
Man 1 “I don't know how you get away with it.”
Man 2 “I don't though, do I? That's why I'm in here.”
Man1 “It could be worse.”
Man 2 “How? How feasibly could it be worse?”
Man 1 “Look, if I’d known you were gonna do the whole self pity thing I
wouldn’t have come.”
Man 2 “No, I’m sorry. I do appreciate it. Or I will do when I get myself
together.”
Man 1 “Well be sure and give me a ring when that happens.”
Man 2 (finishing his pint) “I’m feeling better already.”
Man 1 “Good, well, one step at a time eh?”
Man 2 “Yeah.”
Then he got up and walked to the toilet and was sick so loudly you could
hear him through the door and over the jukebox, which was playing
Christmas tunes.
Michael Holden

snow

2010-01-12T10:49:00.000-08:00

when farnham changed into the alps for a week,

puppy

2010-01-12T10:24:00.001-08:00

hello milo

2009-2010 in one night

2010-01-12T06:59:00.000-08:00

new years, uno stacko, cider, rockstar vodka, pool, =]

new years, uno stacko, cider, rockstar vodka, pool, =]

Winter Ponderland

2010-01-12T06:47:00.000-08:00

A suprise for Georgie!, we went along to Hyde Park and hand a ponder around winter wanderland, it was lovely! mulled wine and mulled cider, german sausage and crazy german bands!

bad boy rolling

2009-10-08T04:25:00.000-07:00

well well well
back at uni, wicky woo dooo, got a lovely place in landan tawnnn, livin with jowey and dex,
and ive just gott get the internet sorted then finally ill get this lovely badboy back on the roll!

x
b

happy as larry and all of that

2009-07-23T19:22:00.000-07:00

sorry for the laps of time, everything is about to kick of,
i have many pies, and ones finger is in many ha, so much to come cant wait to slapa da bass and get it on!

x
b

poor as larry

2009-07-07T18:05:00.001-07:00

been working hard on some projects, have some good stuff coming!, but ive been as poor as larry for the last few weeks!, in desperate need of a job and need one now!

today was a funny one tho, after waking up to a night in a pool and by a bamboo tiki bar all night we decided to go down the roads into the woods where the new robin hood film is been made, it was pretty crazy a massive castle in the woods next to your house?! was all fun and games until the rain came down!!! i also found out i won tickets to the premier of BRUNO but even tho i won these tickets in a competition, (how often does that happen) i couldnt be bothered to go! but yeah pictures to come of the robin hood set, was a right laugh!

b
x

28.06.09

2009-06-28T09:25:00.000-07:00

everything is goin great at the mo, good friends, good life, everything is busy, busy, tomorrow brings ASIMs launch party with the lovely joey nightmare and canterbury boys, its goin to be a pataiiii hopefully i will have some more source of income soon aswell! which means good times

this should be real!

2009-06-28T09:23:00.000-07:00

festivalaaaaa

2009-06-20T18:36:00.000-07:00

as far as festivals go, beach break is posibly one of the sikest vibing festivals ive been to. everything is really chilled and theres no hassel,it was a very messy week for the asim boys and friends!

beach breakkkkkitkat

2009-06-14T13:57:00.000-07:00

tomorro im heading to kent,
abit annoyin how there no beach now cos it moved from devon,
but i cant wait, a free week with AAA passes at this festival, its a pretty kool line up aswell!, so cant wait!,
drunken times tomorro night!
x

m&s

2009-06-11T18:25:00.001-07:00

make the best little sandwhich things that come in packs,
these were amazing,

its gettin there,

2009-06-11T18:15:00.000-07:00

cant wait,

too much gin does this,

2009-06-11T18:08:00.000-07:00

abit of a landan town boi

2009-06-11T17:36:00.000-07:00

eres abit of stuff that i had to do over the past month, was a set where you had to go to a load of workshops and basically do anything about london, heres a few pics a few of them are boyces and andrews, we managed to get all the workshops done between us...... but yeah had to spend loadsa time puttin together a huge book which was alright!, pics to come of the book, but looked alright overall,

im a very sorry man,

2009-06-11T17:29:00.000-07:00

since i got out of the studio, i have had so much work its been crazy, after a month of hectic work the odd drunken night and many a gig i have finished uni for the year and now got a chance to sort out the old life!, had a very drunken night the other night, gin, vodkattt, and general it landed on all four wheels events happened that night,

recording, day 1,

2009-05-04T16:26:00.000-07:00

today was the first day of recording the new ep, and it does sound very lovely,
heres a few pics, more to come over the next few days, and a video documenting it all,

new tee,

2009-04-23T16:49:00.000-07:00

up on the old emptees, go have a ganders!
http://www.emptees.com/tees/19801-twit-twoo

the best hat,

2009-04-23T16:43:00.001-07:00

owned by me,

left moi, right my brother (mid move)

2009-04-23T16:41:00.001-07:00

what a good upbringing

business men dont like funk drum and bass

2009-04-23T16:21:00.000-07:00

sorry its been a while,
everythings been hectic with uni starting again, and preparing for the studio,
i had to get some photos in and around london, heres a lil sneak preview!

misconstructed beats video

2009-04-06T17:37:00.001-07:00

when its time to part asim party hard,

2009-04-06T16:34:00.000-07:00

second day into mills free house so we are abusing his living room and using is as a lil practice room for now. wasnt it a lovely day!, we even managed to have a little party and get some snaps aswell! have a ganders.

alexander feliX macintyre merz

2009-04-05T17:01:00.000-07:00

WAT A DICK

deer diary, its sunday again,

2009-04-05T09:45:00.000-07:00

click me to see full image

Sundays,sort out your life and small talk, or waste the day with a triangle deer

le bon de la rockstar

2009-04-04T18:06:00.000-07:00

practice today was amazing, "Im in love" is sounding band boy big!!! so groovy and the tune really works as a full track now, just you lot wait!, just you wait, you lucky ears
x

j&p

2009-04-02T19:24:00.001-07:00

jowey come home,
paul lets get messy in farnham,
it has been over a long time of period of timeline longness

BSM

2009-04-02T18:48:00.000-07:00

BSM is one of my fav labels, in fact it is the best, its an indie label which offers everyone a genre of music which you can only describe in your own way. you have to head over to http://www.bsmrocks.com and dip your fingers into a fantastic roster. heads up on downloading the podcast each month aswell as these fine soldiers
tubelord

secondsmile

meet me in st. louis RIP

BLAKFISH go check out ringo star its up now and its sumin else!

TTNG

download the podcast you douchebags!

shot for the vid

2009-04-02T18:37:00.000-07:00

heres a lil snip from the video thats just been filmed for ASIM, cant wait for everone to see, really chilled video, where for most of it i was either in the pub!, bulmers is amazing.

prepare for the earth terminal

2009-04-01T17:26:00.000-07:00

today was pretty sik, had a lovely back practice with the guys getting ready for the studio in may, songs are sounding sik, "Im on the way down" is goin to blow some of you away, its pure groooooooove!, cant wait for the studio, its goin to be heaven,

Secondsmile Years happy thoughts

2009-03-31T20:05:00.000-07:00

i have been listening to the album years, (secondsmile) non stop in my car, everywhere i have gone, with he sun out and windows down this album just puts you in the best mood. the sumer is comin, which means happy times are coming, tours are comin, parties are comin, and seeing mate back from uni is just around the corner. Years has made me think all these happy thoughts!

ROASTED CHEF BEAN

2009-03-26T20:03:00.000-07:00

So, today when i was in Hook meeting up with mills, i stumbled across this little fela! he was just there on the ground, all dirty and wet!, so i picked him up and have given him a new home, the "roasted chef bean man" (distant cousin of suffoca bean man) is now very happy in his new home, and is goin to journey the world from now on hes is comin everywhere with me,

ringoswiskers.blogspot

2009-03-25T16:09:00.000-07:00

heres a part of a presentation i had to give for part of the course, The idea was to capture how everyone varies in the way they act/do tasks, i wanted to find out how different people draw moustaches, and then took this onto display how each member of the beatles changed their facial barnette pretty much every other week! please have a look see what you think,
www.ringoswiskers.blogspot.com

JOWEYRODEN.

2009-03-25T12:50:00.000-07:00

a lovely fella/fellow rockstar who i live with, show him love!
www.joweyroden.blogspot.com

much love to andy for this

2009-03-25T12:09:00.001-07:00

A Stranger In Moscow (err in London)
After the shock of paying £3.60 for a CAN of Guinness inside Islington's O2 Bar Academy, things can only get better. Thank goodness for small mercies. Guildford based A Stranger in Moscow (ASIM) sneak onstage almost unnoticed by the growing crowd. Despite immediate sound issues with the backing track, ASIM's hard-hitting drummer, destroys any memory of the over-priced bar with his wrecking ball snare; the crowd straighten up and start noticing. Tonight ASIM are LOUD!

Following the celebratory vocals and four-to-the-floor beats of opening song I'm in Love, the four piece move onto View, a five minute stand-out track which swells and drops throughout. Haunting lead guitar, tempo changes aplenty, aggressive vocals, prog bridges, ridiculously heavy choruses, and all backed up by a super tight bass line. View is a track which comes as a welcome change from the sea of Surrey based bands trying to write the perfect three minute pop song. ASIM has come across something much, much better.

Dropping the tempo slightly ASIM dance through the groove heavy cover of Nina Simone Do i Move You, which is an adventurous re-arrangement of the jazz classic, that is only jeopardised by the slight Led Zeppelin reference at the end of the song. This one questionable moment of the whole evening is briskly swept under the carpet by the bands current single, Misconstructed Beats. This is another gem in the short ASIM set, constantly changing direction, winding its way to a sea of swirling guitars and screamed backing vocals. Such crescendos are nothing short of punishing for those without ear protection.

Palolem, ASIM's last song is named after "the best place in the world", according to ASIM front man Andy, and frankly, if it sounds as good as this... we believe him. The band's final track is the most mature effort of the evening and one which screams out to be played on a much bigger stage than this. Think shoegaze pop that is reminiscent of Friendly Fires and their huge singles Paris or Jump in the Pool. Palolem is certainly a dance inspired track but one which never moves too far from the groups rock sensibilities. With Palolem set to be ASIM's next release it demonstrates how much this band can do, and importantly, do well.

www.myspace.com/astrangerinmoscow
Posted by Andrew John Willis

make sure to show this guy some love here http://thisisnthistory.blogspot.com

SUFFOCA

2009-03-25T10:41:00.000-07:00

i get to live with this lovely man in halls, hes got a peg leg and a small beak but he draws things, arnt they lovely, yes they are, see him in this months FRONT issue, and give him a ganders, http://www.suffoca.com/

MOSCONSTRUCTED BEATS

2009-03-25T10:07:00.001-07:00

so the last few copies of the limited prints where given to us by the lovely josh at airbag records, we only have about 50 left now! New artwork as been started for the next release PALOLEM which will be out 29/06/09 theres is goin to be a run of digi single packs aswell as limited edition 12inch vinyl, which will have some exclusive remixs of the tracks by some sik djs, more to come on this, www.myspace.com/astrangerinmoscow

IAMBEAR

2009-03-25T09:57:00.001-07:00

i was lucky enough to sell a recent design of mine to a comapny who will be printing a range of designs in aid of the "save the polar bear campaign" which is sik, it will be printed on a blue and light brown on Anvil Organic tees, which are super soft, more to come on this!

COMANCHE

2009-03-25T09:35:00.000-07:00

26/03/09

so a messy night was obvious, the comanche cipher where incredible as usual, if your into a brutal mash up! then you have to do this! they really do know how to do it right. Cheers for the shout outs woody, "This song is for briggie, the only man to stay at flat and walk out smiling" you cant go wrong with a song title like hispanic at the disco.
http://www.myspace.com/thecomanchecipher

everything is to come,

2009-03-23T18:45:00.001-07:00

see the above,